Finally Getting Help

Thanks for basking in my shame with me guys. Glad we could all get a good laugh at that poor kid’s expense. But remember, it really wasn’t funny. It was a sign that I was spiraling deeper into my alcoholism.

Hi, I’m Laila, and I finally decided to get help.

The hardest part was coming clean to Sean and Ryan. I knew they deserved me to be open and honest about my problems, otherwise, I was setting them up for a life of thinking their issues should be secret.

There was a lot of crying and hugging them telling me how proud they were of me. Of course, they hadn’t known how to talk to me about my drinking, they were only fourteen and fifteen respectively, but they knew it wasn’t right.

With my boys on my side, I knew I could do anything, and I was right.

Telling Donny was a bit harder, and he was surprised. He tried to tell me I didn’t have a drinking problem and that everyone drank. That made it so much harder. It apparently is kind of normal to have people you care about trying to reassure you that you don’t have a drinking problem.

Just trust yourself, okay? Not everyone sees the way we drink as a society as a problem, and that’s our culture. Once I told Donny about the puking incident, he agreed that maybe there was something to my self-diagnosis.

It was nice having his support. Even if we weren’t married anymore, he was still a big part of my life.

I don’t know how I didn’t have more health problems or lasting damage, but I didn’t. My liver was fine, and my alcoholic neuropathy went away a week after I quit drinking alcohol.

Alcoholics Anonymous got me back on track. I’m not a religious or spiritual person in any way, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t get what I needed from Alcoholics Anonymous. Yeah, they’re all about giving yourself up to a higher power.

I just made the wellbeing of myself and my family the higher power. That was what was most important to me and what I was most risking with alcoholism. If I wasn’t careful I could have drunk myself into an early grave or mentally harmed my children.

Instead, I taught them that adults can make mistakes too and that it’s okay to admit you have a problem. That we need to get help.

I fixed my family before it was too broken for that. I mean, I feel bad for that poor kid, but at least his experience helped me realize what was going on.

I still go to  AA meetings a few times a month, and that’s where I got the idea to share my story.

So, I hoped it helped some people out there. I hope I showed you that alcoholism doesn’t always appear textbook, and sometimes you have to help yourself.

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